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Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Using DRAFT

Zahra and I worked together to make a stretched sentence along with DRAFT. We were learning to use DRAFT and the 5w's. The 5w's was for the stretching part, and then we used draft for the editing. Here is a Original and Drafted sentence.

Original

LI: To write a stretched sentence


Who - The silver scaled fish

What - Was being chased by an enormous shark

When - In the afternoon

Where - In the ocean

Why - Because the shark was hungry

In the afternoon, the silver scaled fish was being chased by an enormous shark in the ocean because the shark was hungry.


Drafted

LI: To write a stretched sentence


Who - The silver scaled fish

What - was being chased by an enormous shark

When - In the deep dark ocean

Where - In the ocean

Why - Because the shark was hungry

 In the deep dark ocean, the silver scaled fish was being chased by an enormous shark in the deep ocean, desperately wanting to catch his prey for it was hungry.

1 comments:

Chelsea Donaldson said...

Well done Harry and Zhara. You have transformed your sentences into powerful sentences! Using the 5Ws and DRAFT helps to make your writing much more interesting. Your sentences paint a clear picture in my mind.

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